Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Black hole sun want you wash away the fear
Wow ! what a day.....spent all day in Memphis getting my leg worked on. My girl and I sat in a little room for over 5 hours waiting. How dare you make me wait!!!! LOL !! Don't they know who I am? and how important I am??? They could care less except for the fact that I am a customer. A customer that is going to lay down probably around $26K for a new leg in the very near future. Its just another case of life on life's terms and not mine. And sometime I hate it.... Patients is not a big attribute for me...
Sunday, February 24, 2013
When the truth is found to be lies and all the joy within you Dies!
Well I'm back after my little stint with the kangaroo court system here. Went before the judge on Friday. All that was done then was him assigning me a public defender to represent me. I am charged in that county with Delivery of schedule lll drug, Buprenorphene (suboxone). I was caught on camera in June of 2011, giving a suboxone to a low life snake in the grass slime ball chicken shit nark snitch, aka confidential Informant. This sick mother fucker called my girl and begged her to get me to give him some subs (suboxone) because he could not find any pills anywhere, and he was dope sick in withdrawals. He had to have some relief or in his own words" I'm gonna fucking die without help"......Oh how I wish the son of a bitch would have done just that!!! Any way I gave in and drove to the next county and gave him the "relief" he so needed. Horse shit! that sorry asshole filmed everything with a little camera in the button on his pocket that was placed there by the jerkwater USA's finest investigators which he had been working for since 2010. I am among many many more done the same way by this sorry fuck wad...............................That's just what this disease does. It works in every area of my life. I had been clean from I.V.morphine for almost 2 years when this went down. I knew it was wrong to do this. But this guy was supposedly hurting and was going to treatment, he just needed something to help him over the hump.That's what I felt. My disease had me again. This shit will rule and ruin your life......I am so fucking tired of being a drug addict. You don't have to be using for the disease of addiction to fuck your world up. What pisses me off is I know this and I still listened to it! Putting dope in my veins was just a symptom of the real PROBLEM ....ME.!!! I am clean today, so that is all that matters........................... My truck was also confiscated. so here I sit.Thats gonna cost more than I want to give but i will, have to have a way to go......I have way to much anger built up and that will get me nowhere, But I would sure love to get my hands on this slim bag........got to surrender these feelings or I know I will be in worse shape than I am now. There is sooooooo much more to this and it will come out...I was told when you write about problems you get them out and make room for new good things. Thats hard to believe right now, even though I know it works.
Friday, February 22, 2013
Meet The Drug Dealer Who Helps Addicts Quit
A prescription drug called Suboxone helps wean people off of
heroin and pain pills, but addicts have a hard time getting
prescriptions. So they're turning to the black market.
An Albuquerque man who goes by the name Mystery Man has stepped in to fill the void. He says he illegally sells Suboxone every day.
To get Suboxone, Mystery Man has to find a patient with a Suboxone prescription, and give that person the $50 co-pay to fill it. He gets that money by selling, among other things, crack and guns.
He sells each pill for $5. He uses the profit to pay himself and his bodyguards, and to invest in his next deal. He says he notices a difference in his customers. "People don't overdose no more. They're just mellow," he says. "If you take it you won't be stealing, you won't be robbing, and you won't be prostituting."
Special Agent Keith Brown oversees the Drug Enforcement Administration's operations in New Mexico. He disagrees with Mystery Man. "Mystery Man [is] not a doctor. He doesn't know anything about how the medicine should be used, the dosing of it, any side effects. I think is dangerous for all involved."
Unlike pain pills and heroin, Suboxone (generic name: buprenorphine) is very hard to overdose on. Addicts can take it to avoid withdrawal symptoms and manage their cravings for these drugs.
"People who are treated with Suboxone are able to go back to school, they're able to go back to work, they're able to start paying taxes and taking care of their children," says Dr. Miriam Komaromy, who directs a state-funded addiction treatment hospital in New Mexico. "It's making them able to return to being a functioning member of society."
New Mexico has the highest fatal drug overdose rate the U.S. For years, it's battled against one of the worst heroin epidemics in the country. And while heroin use has pretty much held steady, a recent report from the New Mexico Department of Health shows the sales of opioid pain relievers that are popular recreational drugs increased by 131% between 2001 and 2010.
Some physicians do prescribe Suboxone to treat addicts. But many do not.
"A lot of physicians are very resistant to prescribing Suboxone because they fear it will attract opiate addicts to their practices which brings with it a whole can of worms in terms of managing those clients," says Seth Williams, a nurse practitioner who treats the homeless in Albuquerque.
Scientists have long searched for a prescription to treat addiction. But companies were hesitant to develop one. Charles O'Keeffe is the former president and CEO of Reckitt Benckiser, the company that developed Suboxone. "There's not much money to be made in it," says O'Keeffe. "This is not a disease space that a lot of people want to treat."
The U.S. government stepped in and partnered with Reckitt to bring the drug to market in 2000. Buprenorphine
— the main ingredient in Subxone — became the only drug doctors could
prescribe to treat heroin and pain pill addiction in their offices.
Because it is an opiate, the regulations are strict. Doctors have to
complete a special training, and there's a limit to the number of
patients they can see — about a quarter of them may treat no more than
100 per year; the rest are limited to 30. But the need for opiate
treatment has drastically increased, beyond what Reckitt could have anticipated.
The prescription drug overdose death rate in the U.S. is three times what it was in 1999,
and yet the number of new doctors certified to treat these addictions
with Suboxone has plateaued. Dr. Komaromy — in New Mexico — says she
thinks her state could multiply the number of providers by five and
still not be meeting the need.
The Center for Substance Abuse Research at the University of Maryland, College Park recently warned of an emerging buprenorphine misuse. But a survey of physicians who are certified
to prescribe Suboxone underscores Mystery Man's role. The majority
believe patients who seek Suboxone on the street are doing so to
self-medicate.
Doctors who treat addiction are worried that Suboxone will gain a reputation as a street drug. But for now, the street is the only marketplace keeping up with demand.
An Albuquerque man who goes by the name Mystery Man has stepped in to fill the void. He says he illegally sells Suboxone every day.
To get Suboxone, Mystery Man has to find a patient with a Suboxone prescription, and give that person the $50 co-pay to fill it. He gets that money by selling, among other things, crack and guns.
He sells each pill for $5. He uses the profit to pay himself and his bodyguards, and to invest in his next deal. He says he notices a difference in his customers. "People don't overdose no more. They're just mellow," he says. "If you take it you won't be stealing, you won't be robbing, and you won't be prostituting."
Special Agent Keith Brown oversees the Drug Enforcement Administration's operations in New Mexico. He disagrees with Mystery Man. "Mystery Man [is] not a doctor. He doesn't know anything about how the medicine should be used, the dosing of it, any side effects. I think is dangerous for all involved."
Unlike pain pills and heroin, Suboxone (generic name: buprenorphine) is very hard to overdose on. Addicts can take it to avoid withdrawal symptoms and manage their cravings for these drugs.
"People who are treated with Suboxone are able to go back to school, they're able to go back to work, they're able to start paying taxes and taking care of their children," says Dr. Miriam Komaromy, who directs a state-funded addiction treatment hospital in New Mexico. "It's making them able to return to being a functioning member of society."
New Mexico has the highest fatal drug overdose rate the U.S. For years, it's battled against one of the worst heroin epidemics in the country. And while heroin use has pretty much held steady, a recent report from the New Mexico Department of Health shows the sales of opioid pain relievers that are popular recreational drugs increased by 131% between 2001 and 2010.
Some physicians do prescribe Suboxone to treat addicts. But many do not.
"A lot of physicians are very resistant to prescribing Suboxone because they fear it will attract opiate addicts to their practices which brings with it a whole can of worms in terms of managing those clients," says Seth Williams, a nurse practitioner who treats the homeless in Albuquerque.
Scientists have long searched for a prescription to treat addiction. But companies were hesitant to develop one. Charles O'Keeffe is the former president and CEO of Reckitt Benckiser, the company that developed Suboxone. "There's not much money to be made in it," says O'Keeffe. "This is not a disease space that a lot of people want to treat."
Notes
National figures. Some deaths may be counted twice because they involved both heroin and opioid-based prescription drugs.
Notes
National figures.
Notes
National figures.Doctors who treat addiction are worried that Suboxone will gain a reputation as a street drug. But for now, the street is the only marketplace keeping up with demand.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Secret Indictment!! Ut Oh...didn't see that comming!
This hell know as the disease of addiction takes hold on the addict, their family and what new friends they have managed to make. Well at least ya don't have to worry about the "new Friends"...especially when the front page of the "One Who Stirs The Shit Daily Tribune" Has me being hauled away to jail by no fewer than 7 of Jerkwater USA's Finest.Yea They were all decked out in bullet proof vest and riot gear but were sure to have their faces blurred out to conceal their "secret identity" or was it embarrassment??? Me, a mere shell of myself due to the cirrhosis that has deeply scared my liver over the past 18 months, I must have been quiet the threat. Especially when they had trouble getting the ankle shackles to stay on my artificial leg. Yep I am a in danger of running from them ..LOL!!
Then I found out that a snitch had got me on camera Giving him a suboxone because he wanted to "GET Clean"........Yea right....and I new better!! even 2 years ago when this happened. I was only one of nearly 135 others he had shot dope with, sold dope to and all importantly bought dope from. Had each and every Buy but none of the sells or sticking a needle in little girls as young as 17, Then raping them. All of that was conveniently omitted from being caught on tape. When I asked how could they employ such a scumbag I was told ya don't use a choir boy to catch junkies. No mister D.A. you're right...all ya need is to show a sick and confused addict a little dope and ya got him...No need to lie or even rape....all of that is of no value to us....just show us the dope.. that's plenty sufficient to kill any one of us at any given moment....... Ya see mister D.A. you are just as misinformed as the better part of society is. You just have the power to hurt alot more than you ever do good.....EDUCATE YOURSELF YOU SHIT STAIN ON LIFE.... and keep setting those $ 40,000 bonds... That works real good also.
Going to have to let this one go..........or he will win in the end.
God Bless us.
Then I found out that a snitch had got me on camera Giving him a suboxone because he wanted to "GET Clean"........Yea right....and I new better!! even 2 years ago when this happened. I was only one of nearly 135 others he had shot dope with, sold dope to and all importantly bought dope from. Had each and every Buy but none of the sells or sticking a needle in little girls as young as 17, Then raping them. All of that was conveniently omitted from being caught on tape. When I asked how could they employ such a scumbag I was told ya don't use a choir boy to catch junkies. No mister D.A. you're right...all ya need is to show a sick and confused addict a little dope and ya got him...No need to lie or even rape....all of that is of no value to us....just show us the dope.. that's plenty sufficient to kill any one of us at any given moment....... Ya see mister D.A. you are just as misinformed as the better part of society is. You just have the power to hurt alot more than you ever do good.....EDUCATE YOURSELF YOU SHIT STAIN ON LIFE.... and keep setting those $ 40,000 bonds... That works real good also.
Going to have to let this one go..........or he will win in the end.
God Bless us.
Friday, February 1, 2013
Growing Pains
Haven't written in a very long time. Have been sick as hell from the chemo for this Hep C that had already progressed to cirrhosis. Went through all the" mind screwing "and depression that comes with the disease. I'll spend more time on discussing this later, God knows I have a load of crap that needs to be put down.
I was talking to a friend today about recover when the subject of growth came up. I heard somewhere that recovery was all about Growing The Hell Up! When I was a child I spoke as a child. Now I am a grown man and most of the time I am all up in my head about childish things. Like getting mad or pouting when I dont get my way. I should have learned as I grew older, coping skills of how not to throw a fit. I grew up on the outside but remained childish inside. If I stop, look at what is right in front of me, take care of what needs taking care of and leaving the rest alone, that means not even the smart ass comment that seems to come, needs to be mentioned. I guess I grew a little then. I have been in and out of recover, for the last 18 years. I have learned 1 very important thing. Don't put dope in my body and I want get high. Works everytime.
I was talking to a friend today about recover when the subject of growth came up. I heard somewhere that recovery was all about Growing The Hell Up! When I was a child I spoke as a child. Now I am a grown man and most of the time I am all up in my head about childish things. Like getting mad or pouting when I dont get my way. I should have learned as I grew older, coping skills of how not to throw a fit. I grew up on the outside but remained childish inside. If I stop, look at what is right in front of me, take care of what needs taking care of and leaving the rest alone, that means not even the smart ass comment that seems to come, needs to be mentioned. I guess I grew a little then. I have been in and out of recover, for the last 18 years. I have learned 1 very important thing. Don't put dope in my body and I want get high. Works everytime.
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