Send Lawyers Guns and Money.....One more time!!

It looks like another month has finished beating on me....(oh poor me..lol )This little 28 day runt has certainly left some hard healing wounds on me and my soul to say the least.    I have court at 1pm tomorrow for being indicted on 1 count of sale of a schedule III drug..Hydrocodone. Found out that my own home county That I reside in, was also out to get this ole recovering junkie .So there went another 2000 dollars to the bail bondsman to pay my20K bail. But I am very thankful for his service........

3/4/13.... Gonna quit bitching for a minute. Went before the judge today and same thing happened that happen in the other county that I have charges pending. Just appointed me to the  public defender after finding out I was on disability due to being right below knee amputee, hepatitis C and advanced cirrhosis.   Dam I hate this. I don't have a clue whats going to go down with this, I am supposedly on camera selling a hydro to a dirtbag informant. If I know only one ounce of truth about me it is that I have NEVER sold a pill in my entire addiction career!! Buying pills?........ well that's a different story! I can remember buying loads of pills with the intent of selling some several times in the past, but I always wound up using every dam on of em!! LOL!! Just like the good addict that I am....lol,  Any way, So i am definitely staying with the truth. Not worrying bout this to much, I have an appointment at Vanderbilt University Hospital in Nashville on Friday the 8th. I am fortunate enough to have a chance to be placed on the transplant list. My liver doc in Jackson has connections there and after my condition was reviewed by the docs, Hematologist at V'bilt, I was contacted immediately by them to "get to them asap" ! I'm ready, been sick as hell these last few weeks and some days I do feel like I am dying. Just taking it a day at a time.... 

I've been thru diamonds I've been through minks

This is about a week now that i have been sick. The swelling in my good leg returned and literly split the skin open in places. It got infected even with all i was doing to prevent it. Went to DR. last Tuesday and got loaded up with antibiotics. It does look much better and seems to be healing. Just hurts like hell.  We had a discussion about the pain I was having with it. I can't even take over the counter stuff like advil and tylenol because of my screwed up liver. I was slipping an advil or two when it got really bad and did'nt see how it would harm anything. My liver functions jumped nearly a thousand points which was why he wanted to have the discussion. He said he was thinking about putting me on methadone for the pain control since my prognosis with this looks like several years yet to go and the pain is worse than ever. Never knew your liver could hurt so bad sometimes. I  do not want to be strung out on methadone!!! but I do not want to hurt. My liver cant handle any anti inflamatory drugs NSAID's. Says the benifit does not come close to the damage it would cause. And as addicted as I am to any opioid I agree with him not even considering those. I still remember my last dose very well and not willing to go back there today. At least with the methadone he can monitor my dose and when I am pain free I can be tapered off. Even though that is a hell of its own. I keep praying about it so I know the best will happen.