Next time I'll get it right, Just need 1.

back to that ole familiar pain that only an addict junkie hopeless shell of a human being like myself knows.I have known this part of the disease of addiction for far to many times and I do not want to feel it or feel anything right now..if using would help , i would be first in line today.I have seen some hard cold days but nothing compares to this self destruction that I am living now. Its like starving for that drink of cold water on a 100 degree day and spilling it on the ground after having a taste.I held and got to be held by the only thing on this earth that made life so wonderful. I only had the privilege of knowing this for way to short of a time. This really needs to keep going. Oh so many people would give any and everything they have just to know a glimpse of what I have shared. Oh my goodness I never knew this feeling existed., my twisted brain will someday stop ruling my heart that is good and full of love that needs so bad to give all it has.