The only difference that I see is you are exactly the same as you used to be

Well it started.Round 1 and I'm not to beat up at all. Just a little bruised and thats just ego. .....you know ego....its the same as fat. You loose some and gain some and usually more of it than you had to start with. It never totally leaves just expands and constricts. I did even get to experience on of the most honest puriest moments I ever have in my life. I was told by this person that they were proud of me......Tears and a smile filled my face at the same time as a barrel full of joy wased over me from head to toe....man I love those recovery rushes!!!It could have been such a mutual thing too but the other partie is damaged. To what extent I dont know but I will before this is over, as well as find out where my recovery is lacking the most. Want to share this...I prayed to God , talked to God as if he were sitting in the chair next to me about this. I told him how I felt I was ready. Then it happens. I get my prayer answered and I forgot to be more specific. I got what I wanted with all my heart and soul, its just not in the same condition as it once was. And for the first time ever it need s me, Though right now that is not eveen a thought for the other involved. I am only doing this because I want to be free from the insanity. My intentions I stated last post. Something has to change in the way I have been
handleing it. It has. Getting prayers answered are overwhelming to me eventhough God has answered so many for me, I should be use to it. Prayer works folks!!! My point is I have help the entire time I'm doing this.I have no clue what the end result will be...not going to lie it probally wont be what I want. Because what I want from this would make me so complete at this point in my recovery My entire outlook on life would change. More later............