Now you're off with someone else and i'm alone..see i thought that i might keep you for my own

I am sitting here with the window to my bed room open and a fersh fall breeze straight from a beautiful sun soaked day is blowing gently across my shoulders, almost like a tension relieving massage. My heart is broken into a million tiny pieces as I try to sort through the most honest, intense, real feeling , careful not to get to deep into relationship i have ever known, looks like is comming to an end.  It amazes me how powerful words are. It amazes me even more how silence from the one you love can be the most devistating thing you can ever hear. I have thought. I have prayed. I have come to a point of surrender. I can now implement my new way of thinking in hopes of maybe saving what is left of my soul.

I have come to the conclusion that emotions are not need in my life. Not the good nor the bad serve any purpose other than making a better person and wanting to help, or destroying me to the point I can no longer carry on my days without thinking constantly about how am i to carry on now. Or why did I allow myself to do that. I trusted again and again look at how I ended up. I DO NOT and WILL NOT allow myself to end up afraid to trust anyone. I refuse to walk around skeptical of everyone and everything. Now with that being said, what I have come to desire in my live now is to quit labeling experiences good and bad, and to just melt into and embrace what is. By doing this as i move through my life with an attitude of love about all things, I will be able to move through each experience with tremendous peace and with a smile on my face. No more getting caught up on one emotion for week and loosing and wasting precious time.