She had been born with a face that would let her get her way, he saw that face and he lost all control..

Live and let live or loose your mind worrying .Just because i think a certain way or choose to live my life a certain way does not mean anyone should follow. In fact you would be a hell of a lot better off if you don't follow me. I might really fuck someone up or more realistically you would fuck you own self up.  This is always a sore subject with me. I would go to meetings all over Memphis in the early 90s and would see some of the same people at each meeting I went to.  I was sick as dog physically and as empty on the inside as a human could possibly get. I was totally bankrupt spiritually and I attended meeting because that's where I got to feeling better. I would calm down listening to others share. There always was one person out of the group that would say something that would help me. Then that same person would be at the next meeting and would do it again on another topic. I got to looking forward to seeing that person at meetings because I knew that I was going to feel better. I had heard it said before not to put others on a pedestal that I was surely setting myself up for a let down. But what was it hurting by me taking what this addict said to heart? Well I found out that when early recovery like I was then that i would latch on to another in ways I should not and not even know I was doing it. It got to be where i looked for this addict to say what I needed to hear for me to stay clean that day or for me just to find a little hope that I wasn't going to die. And by doing this I would not be growing in recovery. I would forget or never know he is sick just like i am and is only another recovering addict. Yes he has many years of clean time and a very good recovery program that he works daily. But he will no doubt have a bad day here
and



There and needed just to maybe listen that day.  Then where would I turn if I were relying on him alone to say what I needed to hear that day to keep me from using? And he also might say some really screwed up shit like one day when I heard this very addict say as he looked right at me " what I am sharing is my stuff, my recovery as I have done things. It has worked very well for me but it might fuck you up. Its all I have to share, I hope it will help some one and I ask that you keep what you need as and if it applies to you and leave the rest that has no place for you to use it".  That was the day that my mind became opened in recovery. I was to listen to everyone, I was to rely on everyone and realize that there is a God that expresses himself through us addicts at just about every meeting that I have ever attended, and I also might here what I need from the person ahead of me in the checkout lane at the grocery store. Everyone has something to give if I just listen. That is one of the many things I use today and everyday in my recovery. Over time I have learned what I can keep and that is useful and what I should leave that serves no purpose for me, most of the time anyway. Still along way to go, Gods not finished with me yet.